"The World’s First and Only Completely Honest Résumé of a Graphic Designer"

A gem by Marco Kaye at McSweeney’s: 

In my portfolio, you will see that unproduced package redesign for Squirtburst, inspired by kinetic typography popular in the West Coast concert posters of the 1960’s. In this designer’s opinion, it creates a visual appeal unprecedented in the beverage aisle. The client called it “uninspired” and said it would make kids “vomit if they stared at it for too long.” Next time you’re at the grocery store, please, pick up any Squirtburst drink and compare our taste levels.

The Onion: "New Decoy Website Launched To Lure Away All Moronic Internet Commenters"

According to sources, Outkube boasts thousands of articles and forums carefully crafted to draw in dim-witted web users and effectively quarantine obtuse, uninformed comments on topics such as gay rights, Ryan Gosling, the threat of Sharia law in the U.S., health care reform, whether Kobe is better than LeBron, Jewish control of the government and media, the New York Jets, the Second Amendment, and professional wrestler John Cena.

Most stories on the site are reportedly preloaded with several witless and profanity-laden comments specially designed to incite retaliatory remarks.

Women of The Daily Show Speak

“Dear People Who Don’t Work Here” begins this post, a response it seems to Jezebel’s attempt to diagnose what it sees as the show’s “woman problem.” (I hadn’t seen Jezebel’s post, but I read Slate’s criticism of it this morning.) As you’d expect, this new response is sharp and funny, from start to finish. (Even before the start: There’s a great teaser for it up now on thedailyshow.com.)