Italy: Italy is the defending champion, but they didn’t deserve to win last time around and play cynical, joyless soccer. You know when people who don’t like soccer complain about all the diving and cheating, and how nothing happens over the course of a match? This is not true of soccer in general, but it is true of Italian soccer. Thankfully the Italian team this year looks old and shitty….
Japan: Japan is not very good at soccer, but it has the world’s highest average life expectancy.