Colbert's Either/Or

From a “Colbert Report” segment called “Ecu-Menace” (watch), in which Stephen Colbert (a Catholic, in life) questions the Pope’s efforts to reach out to Muslims:

I know Roman Catholicism is the one truth faith because Roman Catholicism tells me it’s the one truth faith…I’m sorry, Islam: Inherent in my belief is your wrongness. I mean, you better be wrong. I hate to think all those people in the Spanish Inquisition were tortured for nothing…[following, among other things, a motor-mouthed recitation of the Nicene Creed]…Now what I just said is either the complete truth, or the Muslims are right and I’m an infedel. What they call a kafir. Now, I’ll tell you one thing I respect about fundamentalist Muslims: At least Muslims have the balls to say I’m wrong. Even though they believe Mohammad ascended into Heaven on a horse. Which is ridiculous. Horses can’t fly. Jesus flies. He flew up to Heaven….If different religions have to agree, let’s agree on the one thing we both believe: That the other guy is going to hell.