How You Find Me

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. As you know, it's quick and easy to find out how visitors are finding your website; just check the Stats. Usually, the search strings are about authors (mostly on Zadie lately), a few architects (mainly Rocio Romero), and a handful of musicians (lots on M. Ward). Every now and then, a search string shows up that boggles the mind. From this morning's Stats section: "how+do+you+construct+buried+alive+escape+tunnel." I suppose it's bad enough that web surfers searching for steamy pics of Marcus Schenkenberg have to end up reading my take on the latest Cynthia Ozick book, but now someone who has some seriously lousy days ahead of him has to make his way through the choice quotes I've posted from William H. Gass' great novel The Tunnel.

Speaking of being buried alive, I once found a search string in my Stats that read something like this: "uma+thurman+loves+short+men." I chuckled, and my fiancée chuckled, and we both felt a little sad for the surfer with gigantic hopes and several fingers crossed. It must have been my review of the story collection Short People that sent him here.

Anyway: Ever since that Uma thing I've been noting the oddest search strings found in my Stats. Just move your cursor over the hyperlink to see the goods.

- Not a fan of film critic Jonathan Rosenbaum
- Not a fan of songwriter Richard Buckner
- Not a fan of John Hennessy (whoever that is)
- Not a fan of Roger Hodge (whoever that is)
- Way not a fan of Philip Roth
- Outside (and below) the beltway (Cedarcase fans, unite!)
- Modern housing for Vatican City
- Capable of no thought whatsoever
- Ditto
- This will be a strange paper
- And lecture
- For the "Kicking and Screaming" fan
- Not a good time to ask Reese
- Ummm